End of the year 2008

Has been long time dint "update" here.
After those trips with friends in KK then my parents visited me and another friend from bintulu also visited me in KK end of november-early December.
After that was busy with students' exam (Guild Examination) because i need to play for accompaniment for my violin student.

Finished up with the exam, next coming was preparing for the mini recital (main purpose is for christmas celebration as well). However, it was last minute plan so everything was in a rush and keep busy until 19th December.

About the Mini Recital on 19th December..the time, my colleague n I decided about this recital was on the 5th December (right after my students' exam). Rushing to print out the invitation card (informing the parents), preparing students for their pieces or christmas song as well as i did some arrangement for my violin students to be play in a group, preparing certificate and gift for them etc and etc. Rehearsal was on 16th (tues night) and that was the only time i group my violin students to rehearse in group together and lucky it wasnt sound too bad because what actually worried me was all of them will be in different tune as most of them cant play in tune accurately. But thanks God that wasnt too bad and i only need them to listen carefully to the keyboard intro as it was also last minute plan for that and asked them to go back home to practice well their tune. After the rehearsal, my colleague n I need to arrange the programs for that night and we did until very late. On thursday night then we print out the program notes..needed 100 copies and the printer with that old computer do not work well, need to keep restarting the computer and etc make me so frustrated plus i need to rehearse with my colleague for our duet christmas song as well...huh...tired tired and i did till quite late that night as after finish printing i did some decorations (little bit only).

On the day (19th December)..
I reached my school around 4.15pm and the worst thing is...the chairs werent there yet and everything wasnt actually ready for the recital that evening...huh..and the 2 admin colleagues also dont want to help me up when the chairs were arrived around 5pm..i need to carry extra chairs from inside all by myself with my high heels..huh, make me so tired. Besides that, need to carry keyboard out from the room and the tables as well..huh....tired tired.
Planned to be start on 6pm but we dragged until 6.30pm then we start as many students came late and we need to arrange their order as well plus the setting up of the mic and amplifier also not yet done as we need other colleague to help up as they still teaching. However, we managed to start on 6.30pm.

Thanks God that everything went fine that evening eventhough lots of students dint turn up as well. However, the most embarrassing thing was the air-conditioning there was too bad until everyone was "suffer" the hot there as many of the air-con didn't work. Really felt bad and sorry to those parents n guests. Anyway, important was we managed to put students on stage and i think it would be a great experience for them. Thanks God for everything went smoothly except for the aircond but i apologize to the guests at the end of the recital and hope they understand our situation.

Overall, I felt "success" for this recital as i was glad for my violin group as they did quite well during the recital..it amazed me actually because they did much much better than during the rehearsal and i have this one little 5-years old boy in the group and everyone was noticing about him because looked so cute on that small violin..haha. Besides that, thanking God that i dint mess up my performance with my colleague as i was playing violin solo because i think i was too tired and hungry until that last performance (coz ours was last items) my hand was actually keep shaking (but not nervous) could be I was too tired liaw..haha..but lucky we ended quite nice and both of us work well also. Thanks God for that.

That was my last day of working there in 2008. After clearing up everything (refreshment), putting back the chairs etc then back home.

Next thing i needed to do was packing as i came back home the next day (20th December). Was waiting for the day until it come coz this time both my brothers back home from australia. However, what make me tired again was, on that day, when we reached trusan ferry there...OMG, the que was long like what, we queued there for about 3 hrs. Huh, fainted liaw. In the end i reached home around 7pm. Whole day again.

However, Thanks God..at least im back home again. Really felt Home Sweet Home.

Today, 29th December..supposingly back to KK today already, but my friend suddenly change her mind as im following her car back to KK. So need to wait till 31st December and im going to miss meeting my friend as this few days they r visiting KK. Hopefully when i back on 31st still managed to meet for a while..else i really felt sorry for the promised.

Another year going to end..New Year is coming...I wish that my coming year will be better in everything (lifestyle, working days, friends surrounding and etc).

Having nice trips...

15th November...
5 friends came to KK to visit. We went for seafood dinner then after that back home celebrate 1 of them (Sing Yee@Joan) birthday..we gave her a surprise with the suddenly brought out the cake to her..After that, we went to yayasan sabah (Atmosphere) to have some drinks...
16th November...
They actually planned to go island..but since the night before we back home late so they all too tired and i need to work as well so they ended up just went to 1 Borneo for shopping and they actually went to UMS's aquarium before they went 1 Borneo but i dint follow them as i went to work already. After work, went to fetch them then we went dinner and since every1 so tired as well plus it's raining so we decided to go home 1st But there was bad luck that suddenly my electric fius at the main power burned..walau er, called up the technician few times then got through and based on my description to him, he said he cant fix at that time as no spare part..coz it's sunday night already, the shop had closed and he said he only can come over 2nd day and i told him that i need to go mt.kinabalu early morning then he said he tried to b at my house as early as he can..So, we all gonna suffer without electric at night. However, lucky that that night got rain so the weather still quite windy.
17th November..
Woke up pretty early as i couldnt sleep whole night..no electric, hard to sleep also plus got bitten by mosquito somemore...hais...the rest of friends also got up about 7 something and getting ready for our trip up to mt. Kinabalu. Luckily, the technician came to my place around 8.30am and he changed the fius thanx God, my electric is back..
we depart around 9.30am as 1 of the friend went down to town to pay her "saman"
1st destination we dropped by at tamparuli to have breakfast then we heading up to mt.kinabalu...half way up, we dropped by at a place(dont know what that place called) we bought some souvenirs and took some scenery's photos then we headed up to Kinabalu park...as the time already noon time so we cant see the peak of mt.kinabalu becoz of the cloud covered the peak...too bad. we stopped by at kinabalu park, taking some photos and etc.
After that, we went all the way to kundasang to buy some veges and went to Ranau to have lunch (eat the veges that we bought..the cafe ppl cooked it).
After lunch, we continued our trip to hot spring and enjoyed there for abt an hour plus..day is getting darker around 6pm and we missed the cow farm visiting...too bad..However, on the way, finally we saw the peak of the mt.kinabalu..yay..hahaha...
After that, our tour guide (Arick) brought us to a resort as he needs to make room booking for his friend. So, we just walked around and took some pictures and it was so cold over there..the resort there very nice and attracting which make all of us feel like to stay there 1 night..wakakaka...
Just right before we want to leave..suddenly rain heavily..this time we really heading back to KK already. As raining very heavily, and half way got haze somemore, it's very difficult to see the road and thanx God that we got through it and we still thinking where to have our dinner. Because of rain, so tour guide said better go 1 Borneo to have dinner la...we reached 1 Borneo around 8 something and i really felt very tired and not feeling well..bad headache n feeling like want to vomit..so i quickly went to buy panadol and after i have my dinner then straighaway i have it. Lucky feeling better after taking the panadol coz after that all the friends said wana go watch movie (Madagascar)..but they wanted to go home shower 1st as whole day trips already and we quickly check the time for the movie and bought the tickets 1st then went home shower for a while then rush out to movie again...lucky we made it..but abit late...anyway..really enjoy it very much...movie ended at 1am then really tired already..went home straighaway...sleep liaw...
18th November..
Went to manukan island..after breakfast around 11.30am then we reached jesselton point..me and kelly went to buy tickets as others were in the toilet get change..
becoz too many ppl..drag the time here n there eventhough i was rushing them said the boat gonna depart at 12nn..haha..but lucky we made it on boat...
We reached island around 12.30pm and everyone was so exciting..swimming, snorkelling etc..around 1.45pm some of them went for watersport..they played Jetsky and parasailing...only left me and tiang there..while waiting for them to come back, we walked around to talk some photos and shower.
Around 4pm, we need to wait for the boat to get back KK already and once arrived, we went to likas square to the pearl shop to have a look. After that, we went home and take-away food for dinner at home as all of us were tired already.
19th November..
One of the friend need to go back limbang this day at 1pm so after breakfast, we all went to Karambunai to have some pictures but too hot so cant stand long also as time we reached there already around 11.30am. Walking around for a while and seeing time was closed for the friend to catch her transport (follow people's car).
After that, i brought 2 of my friends to warisan square and centre point for some shopping.
20th November...
Around 11am..sending 2 friends to airport as 1 going back to KL and 1 going to KL for vacation.

That's my few days trips and fun times together with my friends here when they visited K.K..really glad to have them here and enjoyed trips with them and i actually get to know 2 new friends.

Special 24th birthday...

Yesterday..6 November 2008...

Yes, I am turning 24th and as i thought before...I am going to have a lonely birthday again this year as my best "sister" already not in KK and all the other friends are all busy as now is year end.

As usual, on the day of birthday surely got non-stop sms and wishes from friends and from early morning my phone just keep having sms ringing till i couldnt sleep at all..haha, but i still lying till i felt enough to wake up to reply all the sms.

Chin Ling (a friend of mine who studying in UMS) text me and ask whether want to go out have lunch together to celebrate my birthday..so, i agreed and we went to 1 Borneo to have Pizza Hut...meanwhile, i also sms another friend (Kai Jie) who also studying in UMS to have lunch as well and i really appreciate that eventhough he got exam at 2pm but will still out for lunch with us but actually he dint aware that was my birthday but i really glad to have lunch together with both of them.
After lunch, Chin Ling bought me a slice of cake from secret recipe (chocolate indulgence cake) coz she said birthday must eat cake..wow, chocolate..my favourite..very nice cake.

Besides that, in the morning, Dorcas also sms me which she dint wish me birthday but she asked me whether free to have dinner together and that time i already know that sure the group (7 Degree) got to know yesterday was my birthday so they arranged the dinner and i agreed to have dinner though i work till 7.30pm.

To my surprise that i thought we only will have dinner as my celebration. Who knows after that dinner, they cleared up the table then next minutes behind me suddenly pop out a birthday cake and everyone sang Happy Birthday song..that's really a surprise coz i dint expect for the birthday cake...hahahaha...old liaw still got such "surprise"...haha...
Well, really thanx Dorcas, HK, CK, Arick and Jenifer for the dinner and the nice blueberry cake (my 2nd birthday cake) and the present too...Thank Q, Thank Q ..u guys really give me a wonderful night with all the chats as well.

However, yesterday afternoon when i came to work, i found out that i need to rush marking the theory exam papers and luckily that i purposely dont arrange any replacement class yesterday as i though i wana have better rest for my birthday. Who knows during those break time (about 2 hours) i was really fully concentrating to finish mark all the papers...walau er, thanx God i manage to do finish it before my last class start. huh..tiring but i wont get angry that time coz i told myself "today is my birthday..i must Happy..No complains" haha..for 1 day only...hahahaha...=p

Anyway..thanx God that my thought of having lonely birthday turned out another way as i really had a wonderful day and really glad that i received lots of greeting and blessing and wishes from my friends as well as 1st time i received 2 birthday cakes ;p (besides sms, also got some messages in facebook and friendster) and some even to my surprise that knowing about my birthday...anyway...thanx everyone..May God Bless you all too.

Doubt again??!!

Last Saturday and Sunday (25^th & 26^th October) – attended the 1^st Asia Suzuki Teachers Conference.

Since, boss has announced that the school will close for that 2 days and already send out letters for parents and students plus it’s free “entrance” for that conference (or training) so as I think “why not” I just attend it, no harm anyway.

I wasn’t really agreed with the Suzuki method before this as what I heard about this method is all about learning by ear, neglected the note reading at first stage, this is not a good way (in my opinion). However, after I joined the training on violin for this Suzuki method and once again I knew that I was slightly misunderstood about it as even though this method is learning by ear but they involved other activities in the learning process and they are really emphasize on the posture and technical skills. This really attracts me as I can once again improve my violin skills especially in teaching.

Once again, I was doubt whether should I stay on in this company or just go on with my initial plan to resign and find other job in other place. What make me doubt is because after I joined this conference I found out that this method is quite good and applicable especially in teaching violin as well as I am always wanted to improve my violin and this might be a good opportunity for me to learn more.

In addition, they will start to have the training courses starting next year to train teachers in this Suzuki method in order to get the certificate and if really got the certificate we can easily find other job overseas as many countries use this method in music teaching. Since, this is the market in music and to live in this realistic world, I need to follow what is on for this field. I am still considering about this matter as I really cannot of my own thought and feeling of don’t want to work in this stupid company and still think that by my own ability I can find much better job. Well, I am now need to humble down more but I still need to think of it carefully as I don’t want to regret with all my decision one day.

However, another thing comes into my mind is..this is just a plan from my company (about the training courses that will come next year) which i have been working under this company for so long and i have seen lots of things that they organized were actually end up a failure only. So, I am doubt about it also, I scared, yes if now i really got attract by it and because of that i stay on then in the end I din't get any benefit from the "waiting" then I will totally "knock my head on the wall" at that time.

So, I prayed to God, I said, if the company will offer me better salary up to my satisfaction and if I think it’s worth to stay then I’ll stay on plus the benefit of going for the Suzuki training. If not, then I’ll still go. So, now just wait and see what’s the result and I am always believe that God will speak to me through lots of situations.

I would like to say sorry to lots of friends and my family as I actually already decided to resign end of the year (which I had confidently "announced" it) but now I am doubt and don’t know whether should I resign or stay on. I could said that I have to be selfish this time, for my own benefits and have to see better future in many ways as well. So, friends, I hope you all also pray for me and hope that no matter what decision I will do, don’t feel like I am just the type of person BIG TALK only. I really don’t mean to “tell lies” and to be honest I actually has ready my resignation letter (print out already). Haiz, I really hate to make decision, this is my weakness also..I only can rely on God now.

Hopefully just temporary!!

When i got back K.K on monday afternoon
I realized that their is no internet connection at home..and i think is just for 1 or 2 days as it happened before. However, day by day passed and until today still no connection. Weird.

I wish is just temporary "out of service" is not they already cut the connection as im actually using the wireless connection which i m not sure it's belong to the apartment or other people's connection but it's normally on 24 hours one..so all the times i just treat it as the wi-fi connection of my apartment somemore it's not a personal name (for that connection) and i only use for chating and normal web browsing only.

Anyway, hopefully it's just temporary or else i only can come to my office to online now (that also if i got longer break in between teaching hours) and i am actually very lazy to carry my laptop here n there...haha...=p

Journey Back to K.K.

Yesterday, Monday (20 October)
It was a last minute decision that need to come back K.K on monday morning because on sunday when dad asked the uncle when will he came down KK he said most probably on tuesday but who knows on sunday night around 10pm dad called to confirm he said he will come down K.K on monday early morning 6.30am but he's using lorry to come down and dad asked me.."ok or not"..i agreed rather than i take boat lo..coz need to transit and wait 3 hrs..so, that time i quickly packed my bag (but actually nothing much to pack) haha...
Monday, early morning 6am gonna wake up and be ready...waiting n waiting in the end around 7.20am then his son to come to pick me up to his house as he is using Lorry to come down K.K. The uncle asked me whether anyone will pick me up in K.K here where he needs to take his "stocks" (vegetables) coz he said the time too late already as we depart and he wont manage to send me to my house here. So, i quickly sms my friend here and asked whether can pick me up from there and Thanx God that my friend said "Ok, Can".

Then all the way down, he needed to stop at lawas sugarbun to drop some stocks and then to sipitang to take some watermelon (as his ordered) then he kept rushing down to K.K..the reason he so rush because he is using the Lori to come down and he needed to get back custom at limbang there before 6pm (very troublesome lor). Thanx God, we arrived around 12.30pm and i waited for my friend outside "kedai kopi" until around 1pm then he came..haha...finally i can get home...thanx God for the journey and thought it's really tired.

When my friend pick me up, he told me that there is an event on that night..National Symphony Orchestra at where where..got free tickets from my boss and i said no wonder on saturday i received a call from my company but i dint hear the call.

Back home and have little lunch then straighaway i laid down on my couch to sleep liaw..really tired..until around 5pm then i got up then rest for a while and getting ready to the concert as my friend said will come to pick me around 6.45pm. Then we reached the concert place around 7.20pm and we thought is going to start soon who knows waited n waited..untill 8.30pm then it started...haiz..then around 10.40pm then the concert end. To be honest, NSO doesnt give me a good impression..out of my expectation.

Thanx God for the day as well as leading my safe journey back to K.K and a great experience of 5 hours journey on a Lorry...wakaka..=p

Attending friends wedding....

Today..18th October 2008...
A big day for this couples (Yek Chong Lee and Wong Chung King) to officially announced as husband and wife after 5 years and 8 months...haha..Their Wedding!!!

Knowing them since i was young, both the bride and the groom..being classmate, growing up together in church and serving together in church and we really had lots of great memories especially during youth times...and today, glad that they are moving into another step of life.
Attending their wedding ceremony in the morning and the wedding dinner at night. From their smile can see that they are really happy and thankful for today thought they look tired also because of busy preparing for their wedding lately.

Well, Congratulations and Happy Wedding for Chong Lee and Chung King
Wish both of them have a nice honeymoon trip...
Happy Forever and really waiting for their good news next...haha...;p

"Floating" back home...

This evening..4.35pm..
Finally i reached limbang (my hometown)..but i have been "floating" on the sea into river for 5 hours (3+2) altogether make me really really tired and dizzy!!!
My trip begins...
Woke up early this morning at 5.30am, which i need 3 alarms to wake me up..haha coz i asked my friend to pick me up at 6.30am to get down to K.K (scare traffic jam if go out later than that). As i am getting ready, around 6am, my friend text me that he is coming..I was like.."what?? so early" and he said because he needs to go airport 1st to get something from his friend. Okie..then i quickly getting ready.
Reached jesselton point (where i depart to labuan) around 6.45am and long queue at the ticket counter already. After bought my ticket, I went to buy my breakfast and enjoyed it until around 7.25am then i got to the "check-in" point then got up the boat.
Departed on time at 8am and this is first time i used express (or speed boat..don't know what it actually called..seem like many names for it) back home but not straighaway, need to transit at labuan 1st. 3 hours journey from KK to labuan, i really felt dizzy (boat quite shaky) as last nite i only sleep 4 hours..trying to sleep on the boat but cant sleep well somemore i bought the 1st class seat ler (well, just rm5 different from economy). Another thing make me suffer also..i feel like going to toilet but i lazy to get up coz i scare later i walk i'll felt even worst coz already abit dizzy. So, i stand until i got on to labuan terminal.

<-- my tired face!!

Arrived labuan at 11am and i straighaway find the ticket counter again (1st time there..need to search) and bought my ticket to limbang. And i need to wait there for about 3 hours coz it depart at 2.30pm (but "boarding" at 2pm). I went up and see got cafe, i took my lunch there. While having lunch, i saw the cybercafe next to the cafe where i have my lunch..so, keep thinking wana just get in to online while waiting for my time. In the end, i went in also haha, just chating and check mails. Around 1.40pm then i got out from the cybercafe and wait for time to boarding.
The moment i got out from the terminal and saw the express/boat to limbang..walau er, so small i cannot imagine how am i going to "survive" for 2 hours in there. However, thanks God that i managed to sleep for a while as i listened to my music (mayb too tired already) and i drink lots of 100plus to avoid getting headache as i got a sense that i'll get headache already because of not enough sleep and hot weather. Then, when i got up is only 3.30pm..what..another hour to go..so i took out my phone and play game...haha....;p
Then, finally reached limbang...what a relief and i called my mom to ask whether she's ready to go home..then she asked me to walk to my uncle's shop to wait for her..aiyoh, walk again..lucky is not far as i want to go toilet again..haha..drink too much....so i quickly walk to my uncle shop n rush in the toilet...wakakaka...
I really thank God for my journey today because when i saw my mom then she said sometimes the boat from labuan to limbang is not operating (because of the wave too big). I was a bit shocked as luckily today the weather is quite good if no..i need to get back to KK again..really Thanx God for listening to my prayer as everything went smoothly.
I also thank God for this wonderful experience that i had eventhough a bit "suffering" but seem exciting as if going for "adventure" (find all the way out on your own)..haha..;p

Great Day!!

Today..Monday..my off day...

An enjoyable day for me as this afternoon...
Out with a friend (Pei Hua) which has been long time we dint catch up with each other....what we did......
1) having lunch together..we had KFC..haha..and we talked and shared alot of things...
2) shopping....long time dint enjoy shopping already (before and after movie)
3) movie..yay, finally watched the "Mamma Mia"..felt satisfied as it is really an interesting movie and enjoyed the songs in this movie (all nice oldish songs) as the actor/actress voice are so beautiful + abit comedy (very funny). However, the whole environment has been spoilt by those girls at the back as they are so noisy singing at the back..what an annoying. Anyway, i really feel glad that finally i managed to watch this movie in cinema..yes, yes, yes...Thanx God and thank you pei hua for your accompany and glad that u enjoyed it as well.

Today i got 3 friends and one of my cousin's birthday..hmm, i think most numbers in my list..
Is today a good date?? haha...;p
Happy Birthday to Elise Jong, Xiu Yue, Jih Kai and Esther Toh (my cousin)!!
and guess what..they are all same age except Jih Kai (a year younger)...
Wish you all have a wonderful day and God Bless!!

Disappointed..

Time flies...it's sunday again...

Supposingly, I am quite excited for today because tonight me and my colleagues are going for movie and i am waiting to watch this movie.."Mama Mia" for few weeks already..finally yesterday evening my colleague said we go for it tonight (oh, how wonderful..;p). However, this morning after church, at first i received the first message from my colleague ask where should we go for movie..who knows the next moment she message me back and said sorry that she is not feeling well, so go for movie next time la...that time i was really really DISAPPOINTED as this movie already released so longand if still don't go for it will not on show in cinema anymore. All my excitement just gone at that moment..*sob*sob*.."yi chang huan xi yi chang kong" (in mandarin means all happiness turn into emptiness) ~>.<~

Well, in my mind, hmm..nevermind, I am sure still got chance as tomorrow (monday) i already "dated"another friend out for shopping, so maybe we could go for movie as well.

"Mama Mia"..please wait for me..I am coming soon...wakakaka =p
* Tracy..I miss you very much as everytime if i saw got new movie on show (and seem interesting)..sure, I will think of u..haha..dont misunderstand..It means that i really enjoy time watching movie in cinema with you as we always have the same "taste" on movie...hehe..^_^

Decision..

Today..arghhh...saturday again..
Even though today i can wake up half an hour later than previous saturday because my 9.30am student has stopped so i only start to teach at 10am..thanx God i can sleep till 8.30am but extra half an hour still hard to get up...sighhhhhhhhhh

Reached my school 5-10mins before 10am and my student also reached already but she still having her breakfast in her car so i just wait for her and as i was waiting..this stupid consultant came and asked me to sit down and talked to me..he was telling me that on 25th and 26th this month there is a conference about the suzuki method (one of the method in music teaching). He said for that 2 days the school will be closed and need to postponed all the students' lesson or do replacement for them. He talked alot but i am just kind of ignoring him as i was not responsive to him (kind of ignored him..haha). Well, i am not interested at that actually and as i went back to my room and i looked at the calendar..OMG, 25th and 26th are saturday and sunday..gosh, want me to do replacement..saturday i am really packed..how am i going to replace if i really attend conference/seminar.
In the afternoon, boss also talked to me about that and i said is on saturday and sunday..how to replace those students plus next week I am on leave again..so hard i have to arrange those students' replacement ahhhhh...Boss said, is ok..the school will sent out letters for parents..i was like how u give my students those letters as next week I am not in. Well, i dont care also, let them do the job, i just informed my students that next week I am outstation so no class for next week. As for the following week, let the admin people deal with the parents. I dont want to worry about anything.
Another thing that boss asked me again today..She asked me quickly hand in to them the proposal that she asked for, but actually i dont want what's the reason i need to give them proposal and i have no idea what proposal i need to write. She said be quick and dont wait again, later 1 month, 2 months again so that can discuss about it and also at the same time talk about the increment. I was like, "hmm" i already thought of resign already what for i still want to hand in proposal to you (boss). She still dont get what i actually hint her all the while? Or she just pretend not to know.

Should i just straighaway tell her that i want to resign end of the year or how? Really hard to decide because i dont want to let her know my decision so early and still thinking of a better reasons to quit.

Once again, i only can lift up this matter to God and let Him show me the best decisiont to go for....

Meaningless....

Cannot describe my feeling lately...
Meaningless? Bored? Tired? Lazy? or what??? Doubt..........
I don't want to get back the bad feeling of thinking a lot that make me emotionally 'breakdown'...
Oh, Please..NO!!!!

I started to feel bored of my work and feel really lazy to teach anymore as this few weeks, a lot of students dint turn up for lessons and i got too long hours of breaks in between that make me feel really tired of waiting..because dont know what can i do....really bad arrangement of schedule.
Today, i got 1 student at 1.20pm-2.20pm then i have a long breaks until 4.20pm..that 2 hours really hard to pass..i watched my drama but dont seem im into it (i brought my laptop to office) and today my boss dint on the internet so, i cant online :(
I finished work at 6pm but of all i only teach 3 students today and on the way home, caught in traffic jam that makes me really sleepy almost close my eyes (actually i did) but thanx God that i can still drive safely home.

I think i really need a long holiday so that i can really refresh my mind and re-adjusting my life.
However, God is always caring of me..I am glad that next week i can go home (limbang) as the main purpose is actually to attend a friend's (consider cousin as well) wedding. Both of them are good friends of me(churchmates)..knowing since we were young and growing up together. Ops, now then i realize i need to practice the wedding songs..i almost forgot my "job"..haha..yeah, i need to play for their wedding ceremony (as pianist)..it's my great pleasure to do so, hopefully i wont mess up..wakakaka..;p
Looking forward to go back this time as i can catch up with lots of friends as well as lots of us actually working or studying at different places...this is a great opportunity that we can actually meet because mostly will be back to attend the wedding.

Well, hopefully after this short "holidays", i will totally fresh up and come back here and have better working life.

Another off day!!!

Wednesday..
Mom wake me up around 6.30am as mom and dad is going back limbang this morning and they wake me up coz they need to get their luggage from my car as last night they left it in my car plus i need to get my phone charger from them as well.
After that, i got back and sleep again but was hardly sleep because i was sleeping in the other room and it was so noisy outside (usually i sleep in master room which wont hear those noises). However, when i nearly get into nice sleep, my auntie called...what the....and i was answering her with no energy and she asked me..am I still dreaming..i said.."yes" and she actually was asking about my parents that when will they back..and i told her that they already on the way back limbang at that time..and she was shouting on the phone that make me really awake..wakakak...i asked her to call mom herself..haha..aiyoh...a big shocked..wakakaka..Then, she asked me to continue dreaming..
After that, i went back to sleep again..and this time i need to set alarm so that i wont oversleep eventhough today i dont need to work (as usual..wednesday is not my off day but i got no student at all..so another rest day for me lo) but i plan to go car wash today...i must wash today if no i really dont have other time already.
Around 1.30pm, my colleague chat with me on MSN and said she dont have student today as well so we agreed to go shopping together. Around 2pm i went out to go car wash and that time started to rain again..aiyah, why so bad luck..2 days ago is like that..but i dont care liaw..i just go.
When i reached car wash shop and that worker told me.."now raining oh..u (me) want to wash?" i said nevermind la..just wash.. thanx God after done washing the rain stop already..haha.. Great!!!!
Then i headed to 1 borneo to meet my colleague and we shop..and had some tea time together as well. After that, i meet another friend for dinner at city mall + chit chating..haha, thanx Dorcas for listening to my long long story..haha..;p

Waiting!!

Tuesday...
Wake up and look at the clock..WHAT?? It's 11.30am already...long time i dint have long hours of sleeping...hehe..;p
Today, i tot i can go car wash before i go work as the weather is good...
who knows around 2 something when i getting ready to go out...suddenly very cloudy and RAIN.. What...arghh, cant go car wash again..sigh..

Around 3.30pm then i went to post office to pay my electric bill, lucky i went out early as i need to work at 4.30pm because there are long queue at the post office...waited for about half an hour to pay a bill...:(

However, today's traffic is not too bad as i still managed to reach my company at 4.15pm and my student was there already so i started her lesson early..after an hour lesson with her, i need to wait till 7pm for the next student so i just online and chating &etc..
At 7pm, i went out from my room to see whether my student is there or not..hei, not yet come.. because 2 days ago (on sunday) my colleague told me that this student is confirm to come today..so i wait and wait..still dint turn up..so i assumed he's not coming anymore because this student already absent for so many lessons. So, i asked the clerk to call the last student (lesson at 7.40pm) to ask whether he's coming or not because this student always make me wait for nothing (dint turn up) or else he's always late...then finally the clerk can reach him and he said he's not coming..Sigh, if i knew they are not coming early on at 5.30pm i already can go home..make me waited for so long and was so tired and sleepy there...haizzzz....

Lots of time my working time is all about waiting students..wait n wait n wait..make me really tired of it...and after long hour of waiting and just found out student is not coming, i will be very angry but what to do..they are the "King or Queen"...Tired!!

P/s: haha..when this entry is in the process..dad called around 11.05pm that they already arrived KK airport and already got their luggage ready..so, i need to rush to the airport liaw....then back home and chit chat with them view the pictures they are taken in korea and Beijing but not much becoz dad said the camera got some problems...too bad...
Anyway, glad that dad and mom have a nice trips this time..mom bought lots of presents for me.. yay..;p

Life..how could it be better?!

Today is my off day again...
As usual, i did my house cleaning during my off day.
Afternoon, i actually planned to go car wash and after that go shopping..who knows, all my plans gonna be canceled because of the heavy rain so i ended up.."growing mushroom" at home for another day- sitting in front of my laptop, online, watching astro etc...Bored... ;p

Well, what's life?? this question always pop out from my mind.
I found out that lately my life is full of complains...i am really tired of this kind of life.
Besides that, boring life is another one that i encounter as these days, besides work, i just stay at home all the times and facing my laptop and tv.
I am really sick of this kind of life
How can it better? Only God knows..and only Him can show me how to get out from this circles of life in order to live a better life.
Is it time for me to change to another environment?

Come to this question..changing environment..is it really the time for me to find a new job??
Where should I go? How to search for a better working environment?
Or should I change into another field? As i always wanting to back to australia to study again But not music...haha..is not because i dont like music anymore is because i want to widen my life circles.

I planned alot but I am not sure which one is the right one to choose.
All I can do is..praying hard and asking for God's wisdom to know which is really the right one.

Life..Life..Life...I am still searching for a better life...
Anyway, Thanx God for all the life experiences that made me grown up.

Thanx God for all the friends (all my "brothers" and "sisters") that i get to know and thanx everyone for all your support, encouragement, suggestions, comfort and caring towards me as a "little girl"..haha ;p I am getting better now..

Wish all my friends all the best especially : -
for those still study: rushing for assignments and preparing for exams...
and for those still searching for jobs..
And those who are working: everything going smoothly for you...
Good Luck and God Bless!!

Cheers ^_^

Tiring day!!

Saturday Again..
Woke up as usual saturday morning but last night i dint get to sleep well..so, i nearly couldnt get up again but still forced myself to wake up.
When i reached my school somemore i was there earlier as i thought of giving that student extra time for replacement who knows when i get in my room, eii..how come the student not there because she usually followed her sister to her lesson (her sister also one of the teacher of my school-my colleague). Then, i started to feel strange already and i went out to counter and asked the clerk and she was a bit shocked that i dint know that the student actually hand in termination letter that she will stop her lesson from this month onwards and she showed me the letter. At that moment i was like..hei, how come i dunno anything, the student dint tell me neither anyone of the school inform me anything as well. Then i went to ask my colleague and she said the letter already handed in 1 month ago lor. Sigh, if i knew about it i could have extra half an hour to sleep because i was really sleepy and tired.
While waiting for the next student on 10am, the clerk talked to me and one thing that she told me that i was shocked that last sunday my boss actually "bombing" her that she made the documents in the computer lost (all boss document). She told me that she was shocked when boss "bomb" her in fact she dint even do anything and she said she was so bad luck that she actually just used that computer for a moment as she wanted to on a CD but ended up doesnt work because that computer CD-rom already not working, and after that she dint use it anymore and i was shocked that she said boss thought that she wanted to sabotage the company and made those documents lost. The clerk felt so sad about that case as she dint do anything and boss dint find out clearly (who knows is the computer itself got something wrong ler) and just simply blame other people. I am pity with that clerk as she was so hardworking there..work so much there. Meanwhile, I also shared about the meeting that happened on the same sunday and i was thinking also i was telling the clerk that may be because boss was not happy and bad mood because of the argument with me in the meeting and happen that her documents in the computer got lost..so, she just simply find someone else to "release" it and poor clerk..she got the "bomb"...sigh...
Today, not many of my students come for lesson..all the muslim students dint turn up as they still celebrating their Hari Raya. Overall, i only teach 6 students today as usually i got about 12 students on saturday..haha..Thanx God that not so "tense" for me today as im really tired and sleepy..dunno why...haha
Today's weather is very strange..it was sunny in the morning when i got out to work and suddenly rain for just a moment (not even 5 mins i think), so abit cooling. Then, it become hot again at the noon time but later in the afternoon, rain heavily again...huh...strange!!

It's too late to please me!!

Today, 3rd October...
Oh..holidays is over and my nightmare is coming again...why said so?? haha, because have to face those students again..sigh...
Boss called me before i get to work and talk so nice to me..wah, what a nice "weather" today. She asked me out for tea this afternoon as i got a long break in between my teaching time as many of my students called up and said cannot make it for today's lesson...alright, i agreed because i also wan to hear what she will said.
Then as usual, on friday i start on 1.20pm and only teach tat 1 student then got break till next student at 4.20pm. And that's the time boss asked me out.
Well, I am shocked that she actually apologize to me..hmm, of course im not that cruel, i accepted the apology and forgive them eventhough it sounds a bit fake that boss just trying to please me. Conversations that we had were all about teaching students, their attitude and boss still brought out the issues that a lot of complains from parents towards me, this time i calm down alot, i just explained about the situation and he/she learning attitude. In front of me, she just said, of course she always protect teacher one..bla bla bla (well, i know this is not true, she always please parents then protecting teachers lor) but i dint argue with her anything la because i told myself just dont need to argue so much as long as i clarified myself of all the situations that happen especially the case that why some students get scolded so badly. And I was so glad that she agreed to change one of student that i really cannot teach anymore and i really fed up with him already but still need to wait for boss to arrange another teacher as his class is on saturday evening..peak hour. Just hope she not said said only but she really do it.
Besides that, she's trying to tell me how to make the lesson more interesting..bla bla bla but i was like all that i thought of it before eg, group lesson..but problem is i know that all the students here sure got 1 common reason, they are busy this and that, so it's really hard to find a time that actually suit all those students to come for group lesson not to say just once a month. Well, if they can obviously it save my time. Boss said just tell her and she will arrange and let the parents know..i was like...OK!!!
Then boss asked me how can they improved in their system and management..well, that's too much to say so i dint mention much because i think that's your business, you have to really work out why is your system got so much problems.
Thanx God that i can peacefully talked with boss this afternoon and she dint mention anything that she'll consider about my pay etc. Boss thought that by that peaceful talk that i'll just forget everything and can work with her for long period..well, i already make up my mind to quit so nothing will change my mind, wont because of her nice words then i will consider to continue with them as not to quit eventhough im easily get "touch". However, i'll still observe how is everything going on, if they dont treat me badly as not much "gossips" behind me then maybe i'll consider to continue until i really got my new job or else i'll just resign at the time as i thought before.
After 4 days holidays and i become so lazy already, today eventhough only teach 3 students but i finished work at 7pm and i felt really tired..may be too much rest so i become lazy already..haha..anyway, thanx God for another peaceful day!!

What's on!!

It seem to be that the month of september was so long..why would i feel like that??
Thinking backward, really lots of things happened that actually turn my whole life seems meaningless though sometimes i did had lots of fun with friends around but those happiness can last how long??What's really a meaningful life then? always when i prayed to God asking for his wisdom and guidance and lots of time i actually get to know that i need to slow down my pace and need to humble myself more than i am now..may be i should not put too high expectations on everything and everyone. Well, i just need to be passion especially living in this realistic world and just obey what God actually arranged for me..follow His path eventhough it's hard but that's life experience that need to be gone through in order to grow up more.
Time flies, finally come to the month of october 2008.
1st october..is public holiday (Hari Raya)
Woke up late in the morning as finally i got better sleeping at night, i think that's because i felt the peace that God has given to me and asking me not to worry so much as everything will be fine in His hand. Thanks God.
Well, as planned around 4pm, i met my friend for swimming. Before swimming, some of them wanted to play squash and this is considered my 1st time to actually watch how squash to be played (live) haha..normally i only watched on tv and no idea how it actually "work"..haha..now i "experienced" it..though i dont play it..haha..then, they continued their squash..we went for swimming..wow, so long dint swim already and i felt a bit scared to swim + i also worried i'll get muscle pain after too much swim because too long dint swim +exercise (haha..lazy gal..dint do exercise) so just like others playing at the swimming pool and swim bit by bit as i feel to lar. And i really found out that those friends, few of them actually have phobia of it because they bad experience as they got drown in the water before but they still want to find back the courage to get rid of the phobia, i really admired their strong desire on it because lots of people when they got phobia of something they will totally wont go for it anymore.
After around an hour of swimming, we felt tired already so we got up from the swimming pool, walau eh, once got up..wooh, almost whole body got numb coz too cold then quickly got in to the shower room to shower, finally warm up...haha
Then, we went for dinner..haha, we discussed so long to decide where to eat..finally decided.
While waiting for the food, all of us were busy talking to each other..whatever topic appeared..haha then we found out that how come so long already our food not yet ready then one of our friend went in the kitchen to ask then the boss came n we said quick la..we waited for so long already. Then slowly, all the food are ready and finally we can enjoy our food haha..everyone was so hungry but while eating still continue on our conversations haha..seem like non-stop conversations we had..haha..;p
After that, we went for movie..we watched "Painted Skin" as many people said it's nice..it's a chinese movie. After watching it, i felt this movie not so nice and interesting as i thought.. however, at least i dint fall asleep as i was really tired at that time..so that's mean this movie is not so bored + it's acting at the ancient type of scene, about those armies chasing after the demons that killed many people at their town..haha, sound abit bored ler and the story line is just normal as not interesting as well..haha..that's my comment..different people has different taste..haha ;p
Well, i had an enjoyable day because it seem like so long i dint have so much fun and laughter already and i was really tired last nite when i get home and finally i can sleep and rest even more without thinking too much..once i got on my bed..sleep till morning. Thank you my friends and Thanx God for the day and hopefully i can enjoy my life better after this.
Now, i actually feel my whole body very tired and really lazy to move..haha maybe because using too much energy for swimming yesterday..haha...;p

Last day of september..

Tuesday..
what's today??
As usual tuesday i start to work at 4.30pm but last week already i get to know there are students that cannot make it for today's lessons..so end up only left 1 student that dint mention anything so i was thinking want to cancel her lesson or not..coz it's so tired to go just for 1 lesson of 30mins but i still think..haiz..nevermind la, just go for that 1 lesson la..who knows..in the afternoon around 3pm i received call from my company saying that the student said she cannot come for today lesson..i feel like..hmm, mayb this is God's arrangement...anyway, of course im glad la..no need me to cancel the student herself cannot come..save my energy and petrol fees to go down town.
So, another whole day at home..just chating and watching astro then late afternoon, suddenly i feel bored so i played piano for a while.
Around 7.15pm or 7.20pm, was watching astro n chating with friends, suddenly blackout and i looked out, the corridor got electric..other units also got electric..even got hear music on so loud..i started to get panic again..coz this is 3rd time this kind of incident happened and lucky during the 2nd times this happened the electrician got left his contact number for me..so i just called him see whether he can come to fix for me..then he agreed to come but will be later abit coz he was having dinner..as i waited n waited, light on my "romantic" candles and thinking why so bad luck ah. However, i prayed to God hopefully everything will be fine and hopefully the electrician can come as soon as possible.
Amazingly, nearly 8pm..the electric came back..i feel strange also and i was thinking should i just called the electrician not to come or just let him come to check..in case..then around 8.40pm then the electrician called and asked how's my electric and i explained the situation to him and luckily he said he just come to help me have a look. When the electrician came and he checked and he responded that nothing wrong ler + he said he never heard of this kind of case..i said i feel weird also la, and he said, would be another possibility is the main switch down there (of apartment) some1 accidentally off mine then they on it back when they realise it's wrong 1..that might be the reason la...so, if that is the case that still ok..no need to worry so much. anyway, i still thanx God for His protection that i got back my electric..so, i'll still think that no matter what happen, just pray to God and trust Him, He will always be our side to care for us.
Meanwhile, (when im still in the dark) a friend called and i told her that dont know why so unlucky lately and she asked whether i need her to come over to accompany me..i said no need lar..i will be fine and her main purpose to called is to ask me whether im free tomorrow (public holiday), they got outing 2molo -- go swimming, then having dinner and watch movie, i agreed coz i got nothing to do anyway.
Thanks God for all His arrangement because im still thinking what can i do for next 2 days (coz 2 days public holidays - Hari Raya). Eventhough this 2 days my mood still not yet totally "settle down" but im sure after this few days holidays i'll be fine and i wish not to think too much liaw, i should let my mind stop thinking those bad memories...I still need more time.....

Doubt? Why am i thinking so much??

Today (monday) my off day again..
Last night (supposing this morning-midnight) i got insomnia again..was really tired and got on my bed around 2am but i just couldnt sleep..physically i am tired but my mind just couldnt stop thinking of what has happen yesterday...I prayed to God..lifted up all my burdens and problems to Him..so that i dont think too much and have a peaceful heart. I lied down on my bed..still couldnt sleep and suddenly felt that im very awake, so i continue to online, do whatever i can to make me sleepy..after 2 hrs, i managed to get into sleep eventhough juz hardly sleep, and i woke up late this morning..long long time i dint sleep till this late 12noon..

Lucky i dont need to work today coz im just feeling very tired, mayb just not enough rest and still cant let go what has happen yesterday...hmm, i keep telling myself, God will lead me out this way, so dont worry, dont worry...dont think too much and as i online chat with many friends and share with them..and again, thanx God that friends have gave me many encouragement n adviced..thank you everyone eventhough i am quite stubborn, i wont "surrender" so easily..However as i know, i need strength from God, i cant depend on my own.

I think i have got few days holidays now as wed n thurs (1st n 2nd oct) are public holidays..i should have think carefully of my next step eventhough i have make up my mind but i need to really plan of the next step..should I still need to talk peacefully with my boss?? Hopefully by tomorrow i know what can i do..i believe that God will lead me. Should I need a break?

Lately, many things happened that make me doubt and thinking a lot a lot...I might need a long break so that i can really adjust my life carefully and by praying for God's wisdom and learn to be humble as well as figure out what's really suit my life in order to live for better and meaningful life. i want to get rid of stressful life eventhough this is life experience but I am thanking God that all this "bad" experiences make me grow up a lot...

Angry?! Sad?! or get hurt??!!

This morning i nearly couldnt wake up to go church again..coz last night i sleep late..hehe but thanx God in the end i still forced myself to wake up to go church...hehe...well, today the preaching of the pastor is very meaningful even though the title abit...arhh.."Obeying God when comes to life's end".. I enjoyed the "talk" even though i was a bit sleepy at that time also..but i still get the messages..
After church, i went to Giant nearby church for some grocery shopping..then came home...take a nap coz i was really tired that time...then after lunch i went to work as usual...
Well, my main topic..what it means?? today 4pm, as agreed by boss.."meeting" to talk about the agreement n other things..finally today can make it...but it ended up very badly and i feel sad n hurt..why?

Story begins...we started discussing about the agreement..and it went well...but when come to the next things...the consultant asked..what i want to ask..so..
i said..how's my salary?? is there any increment of my salary?? then boss handed a list to that consultant then the consultant asked me...why recently so many of my students drop out (means that stop learning)...i answered..how do i know? as i know, some becoz they go for further studies and some becoz busy wif school works..etc etc la..
then he said: "we actually received many complains from parents that I always scold their child/ children and some even went home crying dunwan to come" I actually knew abt the complains but not to the account of all drop out students are of that reasons that becoz i scolded them...so im trying to make a clearance that i did scold student but of course i scold for a reason (eg: dun listen what i said..giving so many chances still dint do..of course get scolded so that u really take it seriously) impossible i simply scold student juz becoz i dun like them ma..come on..im human also..if u get scolded surely there are some reasons..but they do not accept my reasons and keep "counsel" me and lecture me but i keep fight back for my own reasons..
then i said why u dont trust what i said..u rather trust those nonsense parents and students..who knows they r juz creating reasons to blame teacher for being not teaching their child well instead of actually becoz their own child has no interest or concentration in learning... Then boss said: got prove..everyone hear me scold /shout at students very loud..i said that was becoz my voice loud cannot blame me..if u talk so soft..who listen oo...haizzzz....
Then suddenly i was really not happy and angry..i said..ok tell me which students that quit learning becoz i scolded them..then boss very fast said..ok "tan wei shan is the 1" straighaway i said "omg, that 1 u know 1 a..she quit becoz the mom said u dint managed to enrol her for theory exam during august..that's not my fault..is ur management problem" Then she said.."no..the mom also said u (me) scold her daughther and she went home cry.."
i was like..omg, i dint even scold her lor..im juz strict to her..wana her improved in her technical skills lor..well, this make me think that boss juz trying to blame me instead of admitting that her own management problems..then juz that 1 name out ady i was so angry wif it..then the consultant straighaway said..ok..we dun count on it..i was like...so obvious liaw..they'r trying to blame me..wan me to admit those r my faults...
then i juz said.."what can u said there r also lots of students enjoy my class, i also produced many good results students..(even got distinction in theory as well as merit in practical exam for higher grade ler)..what can u comment??" then they were speechless for a while but straighaway the consultant change topic and said "can u dun scold students or lowered ur voice in teaching"

Overall, they r trying to blame me that i make them lose "business" coz of those drop out..but my students each months still abt 29-34 students are..average amount each months..i also got accepted new students ah..I said "why want to blame me..it's not my fault" The consultant answered "I dint SAY we blame you and dint say it's ur fault..we are juz sharing wif u"..In my heart i was thinking "yea right, i dint SAY it but in all ur conversations u meant it"
The conversation went on very "wild" later on means that we actually argued very loud liaw..and I said..just becoz of dropping out students so u dont want to increase my pay? the consultant emphasize again "I dint SAY that we dont want to increase becoz of dropping students" OMG, I was like..u dun need to SAY it..but u meant it already coz he kept saying, based on ur students bla bla bla bla...so it's hard for us to increase for u..i was like "damn la..since august u already increase the students' fee about 10% but my salary totally no increase..not even a cent..
Then i just spilled out that it's not fair to me..i put so much effort on teaching and i teach so many students as compared to other fulltime teachers why am i so "stressful" and others can just "hanging leg" there...teach so little students and get almost the same paid..then i said it's not fair to me..and since he wan to make "comparison" then i juz said..why the other teacher (also full time) can so enjoy working, everyday online and playing games there eventhough she was asked to do admin work..but whole company knows that she dint do anything (as people always said..just a vase there)..juz sit there..teaching also can walk in n out the room pretending that she's doing admin job..what a "beautiful QUEEN" Then the consultant finally said out "this is my business..i want to hire who for what pay is my business..you (me) cannot compare yourself to others coz this is what you agree when u come for interview etc etc" I was like..everyone knows u juz know how to cheat people la..especially when i just started to work with them..of course they take advantage of me
i said..ok..wat we agreed..let me said about this.."I never agree to teach violin but u still throw those violin students to me..and i also put that effort to teach them well" boss said..is an experience for u..I said "yes, but now i got experience liaw, so should i get better pay?" They said "you never bring this out"..i was like..should u be aware of urself..this is what u supposed to do..not i need to asked for it..sounding like i wan $$$ more than your job"
Then, we argued till over time liaw..my students supposed to have lesson at 4.40pm and i looked at my watch already 4.50pm...i think that this "meeting" wont have a good ending so..i juz take my bag and said "if u think that im losing ur business then u can just let me go (fired me)...find another teacher to replace me" and i emphasize "I am serious"..then the consultant said "we wont fired people..I am serious also"..then i was juz angry and dont want to waste my time to argue there..so i just straighaway stand up and walked away and said "I got student to teach now, I would talk to you later again" and walked out from the room and teach my student..

Thanks God that eventhough i was really bad mood that time but i still manage to control my mood coz that student has no piano at home and also like to simply play..i juz no energy to say so much, juz say read properly and count correctly etc...then the next violin student lucky also ok ok and not so hard to teach...but i was glad that the last student always will say thank Q to me, he makes me think that still got ppl appreciated my teaching since those boss and consultant keep saying i need to change my teaching style..well, i would not change becoz of their nonsense..

So, i finished my teaching, i went out from my room to the counter, put back my file then i just walked away without saying anything coz i just dont want to face them at that moment..
As i drive home, i really feel "hurt" in my heart..thinking of what that consultant why they dun see they good things of me and keep saying what's bad..all this will really make me fed up in teaching, losing interest in this field..please.."Jessica...you cannot let them affected ur interest and love in music"
I reached home..still feel not satisfy and i was thinking of sms my boss to apologize but i think of it..NO..i cant do that coz if i did that surely they think i admitted everything is my fault..no...i still want to "fight" with them..well, eventhough i already make up my mind to resign end of the year but i still wan them to know..it's ur loss if u still dunno how to appreciate everything that i do! Anyway, i cried out in the end as i shared this to a friend through MSN coz i really couldnt control my emotion anymore..and i prayed to God that..please forgive what I have done and i knew that i said alot of "wrong things" and being not respective to boss n the consultant
After crying out then i felt slightly better and told myself as the friend told me..dun angry and sad becoz of those stupid and nonsense people..she was right..OK, i wont liaw..thanx leandra for the chat and comfort n encouragement..no matter how they want to "attack" me after this..i must stand strong till end of the year...coz i still think that there are students respect and enjoy learning under me...that's enough..that's only thing i want..i dont need boss appreciation anymore..and i dont care i have gave them bad impression...as long as God's know what I do..

aih..i think this blog is too long liaw..i should end here la..hopefully who read this will not feel bored of my complains and do give me some suggestions if i need any improvement..welcome to critize coz i really need more advise...so that i know how to improve myself in the world of working life..mayb i juz dunno how to handle it well..i hope this bad experience or situation wont repeat again later in my life..eventhough i understand that working life is always like that..but please..i dunwan to face this kind of nonsense boss liaw..at least reasonable abit..and be professional a bit..i need improvement..dun make me downgrade...

well..to be continue if there's something missed out...enjoy ;p

Saturday?!

Don't know since when i m afraid of saturday..every time when comes to friday night, i already start to get headache liaw...y?? becoz saturday is really a nightmare for me..unless it's a holiday... Because of whole week, the most students i need to face is on saturday almost half of all my students of a week are falls on saturday...argh...really headache :(

How about today?? Last night i dint sleep well, i got in my room to sleep around 12.15am as usual (friday night) but i couldnt sleep mayb too early becoz normal days i sleep at 1sth or 2am...eventhough i was really tired...so i wake up again at 12.30am to watch astro until around 1.15am then i told myself..i have to sleep liaw...coz i need to wake up at 8am.. thanx God after that i managed to sleep and this morning..i nearly couldnt wake up..becoz i juz felt tired and couldnt open my eyes...but i still forced myself to wake up after 10min of my alarms rang...haha..2 alarms also no use..still sleep...wakaka..well, when i went to work..1st student was ok..then slowly 1 by 1...i have told myself to control my emotion..try not to get angry wif my students...so this morning..that few students still ok..eventhough not up to my satisfaction, i still managed to be nice to them and even managed to jokes wif them coz suddenly rain so heavily and i told my student "see, even the sky also sad for me coz you (the student) dint do well in class So rains come"..waka, they also felt funny..LOL..slowly starting 12noon...got 1 student dint turn up...then i teach i more at 1230pm then i off for lunch at 1pm..after all, my next student supposed to come at 2.20pm..but as i waited n waited...hoi, dint come?? slowly 2.35pm like that the school received a phone call that my student was caught in traffic jam so couldnt come anymore...well, i considered it absent becoz it was late "informed"..then 3pm another student, then next one at 3.30pm..dint turn up also..my school clerk saw me keep sitting there to wait for student then we start our conversation saying that today everyone is getting ready for raya liaw so they dint turn up for lesson, coz those 3 absent students are malay and it's really jam out there, i dint know juz heard of it, coz alot of students of other teachers as well were late for lesson...waiting make me tired also...*sigh* then lucky 4pm onwards all turn up..until the last student ended at 5.40pm. Basically, all went well except until the last student..i was so tired already but he can't "please" me at all of his playing, ask him to read the notes carefully, he knew it but confused on piano..i still b patient of it..then slowly even counting i count for him...dint follow at all..walau er, i juz drag my chair n sit at the other end of the room and count loudly (consider shout) and wana scold him also scold loud loud...so that he can be awake...haha..bad teacher..well, that last student make me really tiring and headache after all.

Then i came back home and actually my parents came down to KK today but later midnight their flight to korea...yea, they r travelling again, follow the tour..this time to korea+beijing..how nice..but too bad that they dont bring me..*sob*sob* anyway, i got work also..so cannot go..coz impossible i can get 10 days leave..waka..So, when i came home they r out for dinner already (should be inclusive of their tour)..then i juz online chating then cook instant noodle as my dinner..haha..;p Around 7.30pm they came back home and i need to lent my new mobile phone to my dad coz korea only 3G phone can be used..high tech ler..haha..so..my new phone is so lucky..go travelling also..waka...anyway, i helped my dad to change the simcard n teach my dad how 2 operate the phone coz we all used to nokia phone liaw..my new phone is sony ericsson..But my dad juz need to know how to make call n sms..tat's enuff..so..easy also..hehe..
Around 915pm..i sent my parents to airport...aish, lucky my dad aware of my way..i nearly go to the wrong airport...haha coz i used to go to LCCT (airasia airport)..they need to go Mas airport..waka...and hor, the Mas airport already used the new terminal and the road also changes..i nearly get lose..lucky my dad still know how2direct me..coz at night is really hard to see all the signboard..haha..bad driver..hoho..then after let them off..i was abit panic...coz i scared i dunno how2get out of that new "place"..eh, Thanx god...i managed to get out..hoho...then on the way home..suddenly i think of pearl milk tea (yoyo) have been craving for it so long liaw, ever since tracy (my best friend in KK) left KK i already long time dint hav ti liaw...n i passed by the place also, so automatically i turn my sterling to the place to "tapau" pearl milk tea+pudding... hoho..then..i happily come home coz finally i got yoyo to drink..hurray..haha..like small kids liaw..when i reached home and i juz get down my car and walk walk all the way up to my apartment so tired..went up 4th floor (using staircase) as usual, used to it also..huh..finally reached...when i want to unlocked my lock..suddenly i tot...eh, where is my yoyo..aiya..i was blurred till forgotten my yoyo in my car..so i went all the way down the staircase again..huhuhu...then get my yoyo frm the car and "climb" up again..huh..so tiring..good exercise but..wana faint liaw..waka..then i got in my apartment and finally i can rest here to write my long long complains blog and drinking my yoyo..but to be honest..i was disappointed of the yoyo liaw..this time not really nice..hmm, why a...anyway..better than nothing la..haha...

Well, i think that's enough for today..my whole saturday life...but actually today is better than previously saturday..mayb because a few students dint turn up +i managed to control my mood better today...haha..Thanks God for today and hope tomorrows n days after will be better in life..hehe...

I think i wanna make a changes of the aim of my blog, my blog not only about my life experiences but also full of my complains..haha..enjoy ya..;p
God Bless you all...

This is amazing..i like the solution..

Absolutely amazing! Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!! 1 x 8 + 1 = 9 12 x 8 + 2 = 98 123 x 8 + 3 = 987 1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876 12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765 123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654 1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543 12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432 123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321 1 x 9 + 2 = 11 12 x 9 + ! 3 = 111 123 x 9 + 4 = 1111 1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111 12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111 123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111 1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111 12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111 123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111 9 x 9 + 7 = 88 98 x 9 + 6 = 888 987 x 9 + 5 = 8888 9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888 98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888 987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888 9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888 98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888 Brilliant, isn't it? And look at this symmetry: 1 x 1 = 1 11 x 11 = 121 111 x 111 = 12321 1111 x 1111 = 1234321 11111 x 11111 = 123454321 111111 x 111111 = 12345654321 1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321 11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321 111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321 Now, take a look at this... 101% From a strictly mathematical viewpoint: What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those! people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all be en in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%. How about ACHIEVING 101%? What equals 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. If: H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K 8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98% And: K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E 11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96% But: A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E 1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100% THEN, look how far the love of God will take you: L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D 12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101% Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that: While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get yo! u there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top! Have a nice day & Trust Yourself!!

Being cheated???

Yesterday (tuesday, 23rd september)
Is the day I am actually waiting for because my boss finally agreed (last thursday she agreed) to talk about our agreement (like contract to a company) this day...However, when i went to her office and showed her the agreement, she just said "oh, that 1 you have to ask Peter (our stupid consultant)" Then i asked "when?? coz u said today oo.." She said: "did I said today?? I forgot oo..u dint remind me" and she added "this week Peter is outstation..maybe next week, I arrange then let you know again" Then i just said "OK (not happy)". Then the boss managed to talk to me about a student that silent in my lesson last saturday and the mom respond was the daughter told her that the teacher scold her..wat a great reason...that's normal thing la...like that u silent to me...I really shake my head and show my disappointed face to boss..but boss said.."not ur fault la, the mom also understand because that's the student attitude.."kia-su" 1" so what boss actually wanted to said is..dun keep scolding students...walau er, thought i like to scold student all the times...im tired to do that also la..if they listened what i ask etc..of course wont get scolded..
However, about the agreement thingy..i really felt cheated...why? Because she agreed to talk to me on tuesday but in the end told me she forgot and trying to act like she never said about it..walau er..im really angry of it and at that moment because i have been waited for so long since end of july till now she still wanna drag it *sigh*..i really think..next week again..mean..i have to wait for another week for a decision..to sign or not to sign the agreement..coz i juz need a written letter to prove that i ever work in this company..and since the case, i think, i can just dun waste my time and energy to ask for it..what in my mind is..to write my resignation letter next and im now writing my resume to prepare to look for another job but not in KK anymore, this place giving me lots of bad memories especially about work...and i want to change a new enviroment and more chances for myself..I prayed to God to show me my way out..because I really dont want to stay on this kind of life..everyday complaining about work..it's enough!!

Monday again...

Today..is monday...my off day again!!
Din't plan to go anywhere...so i woke up late and did house cleaning as usual...
After that, i on my laptop...can online ler...coz had been 2 days i cannot online liaw...no connection at all...hehe...thanx God...so i managed to check mail and chating wif friends. But in the afternoon, suddenly cannot online again...i think the connection got some problem, so i dun care lo, juz watch astro and play piano for a while but too hot..then i watch dvd (drama)... later in the evening, i tried again...ei...can online again...thank God..;p So, i can continue chating wif friend and web browsing
Actually, this 2 days (weekends) i have been thinking alot...thinking of my life..thinking of am I on the right path?? What can actually make my life more interesting because im really bored of my life..very unhappy with my work maybe i just put too high expectation on everything..just think that why is that everything they did so unprofessional..really make me feel i have been downgraded...hmm...why, why, why?? really lots of question came out from my mind..should I just don't need to think so much...I prayed to God..so that make me don't think too much, juz uphold everything onto his hand..and be humble down, and follow whatever that he has path for me..maybe this is life experience..I am still waiting for the "answer".....